Heavy Heart...

I'm not very good with words. I speak more eloquently than I write (strange, I know.) I tend to capture my emotions with pictures. Unfortunately, I don't have any right now...but soon I will. For now, I'll just have to try to write it.

Yesterday, I was at work when my mom called. I could tell, immediately, that something was wrong. Through her tears she informed that she and my Dad were on their way to the Dr. Larry (the vet) for a task that had been weighing on their minds and hearts for a long time. Our family Dog, Frazier, after 17+ years, just wasn't able to enjoy life as a dog anymore, and it was time.

I cried, because....well, I cry. At (cough) 27 (cough) I've only ever had four dogs, two of which currently live with me. I'm a dog person. My dogs are apart of my family and when one of them dies...it hurts. Before I moved out of the house, he was my dog. He slept in my room every night and could recognize my voice over the phone. He HATED every single boyfriend until I started dating James, no LIE! He loved James. He love me because I gave him cinnamon roles on Sunday morning. He hated water. He loved to bark at boats. He didn't bite, but he wasn't a licky dog either (which is good, because he liked to drink out of the toilet) He was a the definition of a lap dog. He loved to be petted (?). He loved watermelon. He was one of the best natured dogs, ever.

So, my heart is heavy today. It'll probably be heavy for a while. Dogs are such a blessing and Frazier Dog will be missed.

ALIVE!

Yes, as a matter of fact I AM! my deepest apologies for my hiatus. It wasn't my fault though, I've been without a computer until this past Saturday. When I returned home, to Nashville, I found out that mine AND James' computers had both met their end. SO, I sold a kidney on the black market, and got a new one. A lot has happened since the last time I blogged. I have a NEW NEPHEW!!!! Cohen Thomas was born a little over three weeks ago. I haven't seen him in person yet, but hope to VERY soon! I talk to Aaron often and he says everyone is doing GREAT!


I don't have a lot more to say, since I'm about to have to go yell at some rowdy children (I'm currently working about 55 hours a weeks as a nanny) but I do have a lot of pictures to show you. Some cakes, lot of Noah, and maybe a few others. Enjoy!



I promise it won't be this long before my next post!!

I love this one.

Miss Savannah and Mr. Noah playing (the reason you can't see S's arm is because i'm about to get blasted with stuffed animals! )

So cute

Cupcakes for Allison's Shower (before Cohen was here)

Cake

Cake I did for a lady here in Nashville.

Noah and his Papa.

See you soon!

With all the talk about Swine Flu, H1N1, or R2D2..whatever it's called...I figured I offer a helpful hint for avoiding it. Don't do this:




Happy Thursday, y'all!
Oh, i still haven't gotten my computer fixed so that's why I hijacked this picture from my dad's blog. As soon as I get my computer up and running again, I will be blogging more regularly since all my pictures are on there!

Cheers!

Storms and Puppies

I thought I would post some of the pictures I've taken lately. Nashville has been great, James and I have really adjusted to life near...well, everything! We've already been to several concerts and even had the pleasure of hearing David McCoullough speak at Bellmont University. (he's the author of The Great Bridge, 1776, and many others). Anyway, we've really enjoyed it. It's been a change for me to go from constant work to having to establish myself again, but such is the job. Actually, I've been commissioned to do some work for at James' work. Hopefully, i'll be doing a lot more freelance work for them.
Something I've really enjoyed is Nashville in the spring. I love storms and we've got 'em. Anyway, here are some pictures I have taken lately.
Gunther posing like a groundhog (he does this all the time)

Happy little Gunther

Happy Little Angus



Angus posing, trying to look dapper

This is just the sidewalk after the storm

Earth Hour was a few weeks ago. During that hour James and I turned off everything for almost two hours and played guitar and sang by candle light. it was awesome.

Another sidewalk shot.

This was right before the storm. It was almost dark except for the light coming through the clouds. I think its awesome that you can see the two fronts coming to together

This is a crack in the sidewalk after the storm.

for thought.

Sorry I've been away. I've had plenty to blog about, but for almost a month I had no computer. My battery totally died and I finally received the new one last week. We've had a lot going on and even more to come. Anyway, I promise to update with pictures soon, but for now here is a post card from one of my favorite websites: postsecret.
see you soon! :)

back again.

At long last, I am back. I know you have all been heart-broken in my absence, but now that we are settled I am fully prepared to be a semi-active blogger. (semi because claiming to be "active" can give false hope :). Anyway, as of this very moment I am officially a Tennessean...well- not card-carrying, but you know- born in Oklahoma, raised in Texas, experimented with Yankeeism (didn't take) and have now ventured back below the Mason/Dixon line. Anyway, the move went well, very few broken bones, even fewer broken objects, two dogs, a brother and four rearrangements later....we are now somewhat settled in Nashville. We are currently living with our good friends David and Kristin Sessions. It's kind of cool actually, we werent' really sure what area of Nashville we wanted to live in, if we wanted to buy a house, rent, etc. so they graciously offered to let us live with them for the time being. It won't be forever, but is a definite benefit to all parties involved. Since I work from home and love to cook, Kristin said it's like having a personal chef, which is good by me. They have a dog, Abby, which is great because she keeps the boys entertained. As for Nashville, I love it. James started work yesterday and I'm sure he will be filling you in on the happenings, so check out his blog for an update. As for me, things are starting to take off as well, I've only been here a week and I already have several cake orders. Here are a few pictures of some cakes I've done in the last week This is my first Nashville cake, it was for Kristin's boss. He told her he really liked almond cake and blackberries. okay, I had never made anything like that, but no fear I spent the morning coming up with a recipe. I must say, I impressed my self with this one. This is a "white chocolate almond cake filled with a blackberry (with a hint of lemon) filling and an Almond cream cheese frosting". It may not sound good, but it WAS.

This is for one of my good friends in Cooperstown. I made this the week we left.

This was James' birthday cake. I made a little 6 inch cake for him to enjoy and cupcakes for him to take to work.

See you soon!

.

the Pretenders

Last Thursday James and I got to go see the Pretenders kick off their tour in Albany! James and I are HUGE Pernice Bros Fans and their guitar player James Walbourne (incredible) is touring right now with them!

It was a pretty sweet deal! We sat 6th row dead center! It was a great concert, but we were definitely in a weird crowd! Walbourne was incredible, as was the rest of the band! I love live music and it was especially cool to see them that close up. (we also got to hang around after and talk to the band! Of course, we had to wait in line with a few crazies who wanted autographs . We're not big on autographs, having been through 3 Inductions and seeing grown men trample children for an autographs...it's not really our gig, just nice to be able to tell them we appreciate what they do!)

This security guy, who looked like my father-in-law with BANGS and a 3 foot PONY TAIL, yelled at me to put my camera away and told me there was "no photography rule" I didn't let that stop me, but some of them are kind of blurry since I had to take them super fast and couldn't use a flash! Anyway, here are some of the pics from the show.

OH YEA, and the opening band American Bang...was great! They are from Nashville and have an album coming out pretty soon that I can't wait to get hear. I hope these guys stick around for a while..they will either be around for years or all be in rehab in 2. So here are some pics from the concert! Enjoy!

Guitar player for American Bang

Lead Singer for American bang

Drummer-obviously



Chrissie Hynde

these guys were awesome!

this isn't a great shot-but like I said...I had to be fast and sneaky :)

Nashville!

There ain't nothinnnnn, nothing wrong with Nashville!

Sorry, I was singing that song. Why? Because I AIN'T GONNA BE NO YANKEE NO MORE!!!!! Can you tell I'm excited? James was offered, and accepted, a job as the Director of Education for the Hermitage in Nashville. The Hermitage is Andrew Jackson's Presidential home and museum. We are both incredibly excited to be moving, but didnt realize just how hard it would be to tell everyone we're leaving. We leave exactly 4 weeks from this Thursday! One month isn't very long, and we have a lot to do. Luckily, my brother Jared will be coming to help do some heavy lifting since I can't lift the heavy stuff yet. Anyway, in honor of this, here are some pictures that I took today. ( my computer is being stupid again so it's only 3) Enjoy!

There is a lot going on around here, but I can't blog about it just yet. However, I do have a question. Well....two questions really. When you were growing up did your family eat at the table or in front of the T.V.? AND those of you who are married with or w/o kids, have a roommate, or are living with someone. Where do you eat now? at the table? Just wondering. James and I are weird, (shocking, i know) but, sometimes we eat at the table, and sometimes we eat in front of the boob-tube and there's no rhyme or reason. When we were growing up we all at the table with the T.V. off! It was a big deal and still is to me. Have a good day! Another post coming VERY soon!

The picture is a groom's cake that I did a few months ago. Obviously, he was a huge Michigan fan!

Conversation

James- Are you interested in dozing?

Me- You mean do I want to take a nap?

James- yea

Me- It's almost 4 o'clock. I don't sleep after 4 o'clock, only vampires sleep after 4 and vampires don't sleep.

James- So...no, then.

Needless to say, I'm feeling a little better. Not great. But James says If I am coming up with things like that, I must be feeling better.

Hope you have a good week!

New Year

I'm a little frustrated. I've been trying to upload pictures from our NYC trip for almost 2 weeks and for some reason, blogger does not like them. So I've decided to blog about something that means a lot to me. GREEN. Not the color. Well-sort of.

As many of you know I'm a hippie. I am a tree hugger. Don't worry, I'm not going to preach to you about how every thing you're doing is killing mother earth. (It is..but im not going to preach about it :) Here's the thing, in an effort to save money and be more environmentally conscious, James and I have made several adjustments to our diet and how we live. (and a little note -before you start jumping on my case about being a vegetarian, I ate a cheeseburger two days ago. That's for another blog) And before you start thinking that going green mean you have to give up something...it doesn't. Most of the time it will actually save you money, save the environment, improve your health, and your lifespan. I think 15 second of effort is worth that.

These are all things that we have done:

1. Buy organic milk-okay, I know that it's expensive, however, it's worth it. This is one that is a big deal for me because I have asthma. After several weeks of switching to organic milk, my symptoms decreased significantly. ALSO, I dont' really drink that much milk anymore, in an effort to be healthier I switched my cereal for oatmeal,( plain with berries, or shaved apple for sweetner) eggs, or some other form of protein in the morning (we go through about a half gallon a week now, not bad)

2. Try to eat locally- Farmers markets are the greatest thing. EVEN ABILENE has one. Seriously people, eating locally does several things: guarantees that your not eating something that was shipped from Guatemala, who knows how long ago, ensuring that you are eating something that is better for your body, and it supports local farmers. Most farmers markets offer organically or almost organically grown produce, free-range meats, local cheese, eggs, and all sort of other things. TRUST me, it's worth the trip. Just for the satisfaction of knowing that you are putting something good into you and your kids and supporting local business. It also forces us to eat healthier. If you live in a place where winter exists (like I do) Then buy locally in the summer and freeze fruits and veggies for use later in the year. (free them in a single layer on a sheet pan, and after they are frozen put the in bags.) That way you can eat good stuff all year round.

3. Reusable bags- This is a big deal for me and it's not that hard to do. The bags generally cost about 99 cents. I just picked one up a few times when I only had a few items to get. If you don't want to spend the money on those at least do the brown paper bag thing, those can be recycled and used for crafts or whatever. Keep a few of the reusable bags in your care that way if you just need to go to the store on the way home you have one already there! ( It can take at least 300 years for a plastic bag to decompose)

4. Get a water filter- AGAIN plastic take up to 300 years to decompose. Not to mention the fact that buying a filter vs v bottled water can save HUNDREDS of dollars a year. The standards for filters is improving constantly and they work! Buy a reusable water bottle and fill it instead of a landfill.

5. Use compact fluorescent light bulbs- they do cost more than regular bulbs, but they last up to 5 years! If every American switched green house gases equivalent to 800,000 cars a year.

6. Want to save gas? Carpool and Turn off the car instead of idling when waiting in the car. When a car idles for more than 30 seconds, it's actually using more gas, therefore putting more greenhouse gas pollution into the air then if it was turned off.

7. Get rid of paper products-We don't use paper towels, napkins or plates anymore and haven't for almost a year. It was an adjustment. But a stack of kitchen towels is about 5 bucks are completely reusable. If every household in the U.S. replaced just one roll of virgin fiber paper towels (70 sheets) with 100% recycled ones, we could save 544,000 trees.

8. Say no to receipts-unless you're need them for tax purposes. It's a waste of paper. Make a note on your phone, blackberry, iphone, or keep a dry erase board in your car if you need to. If everyone in the U.S. said "no thanks" to just ATM receipts, it would save a roll of paper so long it could circle the equator fifteen times.

9. Unplug your unused appliances-okay I know this sounds crazy, but after you use the toaster-uplug it. What we do is plug a bunch of appliances in to a power-strip and unplug that at night, that way its just one cord. Even though they might not be on, it they are plugged in, they are still using small amounts of electricity. Just so you know our electric bill went from $85 a month to around $36.

10. Open your windows, blinds, etc.- fresh air is good for you and sun light is FREE!

I know it sounds like a lot. But it really isn't. It just take a little extra effort and before long you'll be doing it without thinking about it. They are little things that really do save money and the environment. I know a lot of you are list maker so add it to the list! Anyway, cheers to a greener New Year!

the past week

So I don't really know how to blog about this so I'm going to do a timeline.

Last Sunday, I wasn' t feeling very well so James made me stay home from church and sleep. No big deal, I was just really tired. Monday morning I woke up and went down stairs to eat breakfast. I called James, as I normally do when I get up in the morning, told him to call me back (at 9:17) I went downstairs started doing my normal morning routine: make coffee, check email..blah blah blah. I went in to the kitchen to fix something to eat. I took one bite of my cereal when I started having this blinding pain in my abdomen. I didn't know what was going on so I went up stairs. Generally when that happens it's gas..sorry if that's too much information..but it's true. As I was walk up the stairs I got very light headed I couldnt' see...and I laid down on the bathroom floor. About 2 min. later I openend my eyes and realized that I passed out. I was sweating, but freezing...my head was still spinning. Immediately I called James to come home. I knew something wasn't right....I don't pass out.

5 min later James came running in the door yelling for me. I was still upstairs on the edge of the bathtub trying to hold myself up. Im pretty sure when he saw me he knew something was wrong because he had one of those priceless "you look terrible" expressions on his face. The pain still hadn't subsided so I told him I needed to go to the E.R. I guess I should probably mention that I was around 8 weeks pregnant. So DEFINITELY need to go to the E.R.

We got to the E.R. at Bassett not 10 minutes later ( luckily its right down the road). They put me in a wheel-chair right away on account that I could barely stand up. The check-in nurse proceeded to ask me questions about my symptoms...I managed to piece together words to make sentences...though I'm not sure it made sense. It's still really fuzzy at this point. oh, and when they took my blood-pressure at this point it was about 90/40. Not so good. Explains why I passed out.

Now I'm in my room in the E.R. the bring a team to draw some blood. The regular E.R. nurses try 3 times and can't get a vein so they have to call in the I.V. TEAM. GREAT! This lady finally draws about 5 viles of blood to run some tests..you know normal stuff..red blood cell count, HCG (pregnancy hormone), and several other things (so we're up to 4 sticks with a needle). We wait for several hours before they are able to get me in for an ultrasound. FINALLY, around 2:30 I get wheeled to the ultrasound room (meanwhile blood pressure still around 95/55).

The lay me down on that oh-so-wonderful table and the tech proceeds to do a regular ultrasound for about 30 min...pressing hard on to my abdomen.....that...is....still...hurting...like...crazy!!! Okay, so really bad news. I'm supposed to be 8 weeks and they can't see a sac. Which means I don't have an inter-uterine pregnancy. I started crying...and James still is not really sure what's going on so over my sobs Im trying to explain to him that the baby isn't growing in my uterus (not good) but it is growing somewhere (even worse). So now, to add insult to injury, they inform me that they MUST get pictures from inside. JOY. At this point I am still in writhing in pain and they decide they have to do it THEN.

So, after about 10 minutes of me screaming on the table they finally get enough pictures. As soon as that was finished James sat me up slowly to help comfort me....and he puts it I "started to go" Yep, passed out again. The next thing I remember is 5 nurses in the E.R. running towards whomever is wheeling me back to the actual emergency room. I think I woke up in the room again. I dont' really remember that, but I was super sweaty again. The Dr. in the ER read my ultrasound quickly and determined that the baby was in fact growing IN my left fallopian tube. Ectopic pregnancy. okay. I know what this means but we have to wait for the Dr.

Since they know, it was ectopic, they were able to start me on an I.V. and they have to take more blood. AGAIN, the ER nurse misses twice and gets in on the 3 or 4..I can't remember and I don't feel like counting the trackmarks on my arm (we're now around 8 sticks) So I have an I.V. now. The couldn't get it in my hand or arm...so it went in my shoulder. Then they decide they need more blood and I need more I.V.'s, apparently I was dehydrated. So now, I have almost 11 places where they have attempted to draw blood and 3 different I.V.'s in an assortment of sizes in both shoulders.

Almost 6 hours after getting to the ER I finally get something for the pain. I should also mention that my blood pressure is still hovering around 100/40-50. So the can't give me much for the pain (it lowers your blood pressure)

This is where it gets a little scary. I'm flat on my back because I need to get blood to my head, but now i'm starting to have trouble breathing and my stomach starts slowly get bigger. I begged the nurse to set me up a little but she can't because they're afraid I will pass out again. (each time I "go" gets longer and longer I'm up to 3 blackouts now...once in the room for now reason).

Now, it's waiting game. For a couple of hours Im laying on this table in the ER 3 needles in me pumping me full of fluid and some pain killers, having my blood pressure taken every 10 minutes to makes sure Im not crashing, and 10 nurses and Dr.'s coming in and out every so often to look at my vitals.

It's now around 6:15 the Dr. we've been waiting on is out of surgery and comes to talk to us. He stays very monotone when telling me what they have to do. Sometimes with an ectopic pregnancy it doesn't last very long and just stays in the tube. Not this time. My HCG level came back at 13,000. The baby was still growing up until that morning and had managed to rupture my tube. Actually, had expanded so much that it blew out the back side of my ovary. Reason for low blood pressure, blackouts, pain, trouble breathing, expanding tummy?? I'm losing blood internally. Now i'm scared. Terrified actually. At this point James still has no idea what the Dr. is saying. I do.

45 mins later I was in surgery....ahh but not without the nurses trying to get me up to go to the Bathroom first....I passed out and hit my head. I am up to 5 blackouts now. I went out twice waiting to go in to surgery, twice in about 10 min, so now I'm getting really scared. BUT thank God for all that Yoga and meditation because the whole day I was able to keep myself relatively calm by breathing.

As we're waiting I hear the Dr. say to the nurse "In surgery STAT" and "Stop the bleeding first". Luckily at that point I was only conscious for about 90 more seconds. I think it hit James for the first time how serious it was when he asked my nurse "she's going to be okay..right?" and she replied "yea, after they get the bleeding stopped" They did. Praise God. they also had to remove the baby and my left tube.

Thank God, and airmiles my mom was able to get here by Tuesday and left this morning. I honestly dont' know if we could have handled it without her. I'm not completely immobile, but close. I have a nice 6 inch incision that is healing quite nicely and a heart that will be on the mend indefinitely. I definitley didn't think this was how I was going to be spending my Christmas. My hormones and pain killers are playing tricks on me. I have a breakdown twice a day. Mostly in the evenings. But I also thank God for watching over me. I think it really hit James just how serious this was sometime on Wednesday. Their a lot of things to be thankful for and a lot of things that break my heart on a daily basis. Anyway, that's how we spent the week recovering from Emergency Surgery. It'll definitley be an interesting Christmas, but I am still here to celebrate it and for that I thank God!

I hope you all have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Winter is here!

It's official. Winter is here. Okay, actually it was official before Halloween, I just don't like to acknowledge it until after Thanksgiving. James and I had a very quiet but very nice Thanksgiving dinner just the two of us. I cooked, and James stayed out of the way! I will have a lot more to post about next week after we get back from NYC with the fam. (and hopefully LOTS of pictures too!) I can't wait. Just found out Jared is coming now! So the WHOLE family will get to be together! Anyway, here's a few pictures from the recent present.

Lake Front park a few weeks ago. (the leaves are now gone)

The Candy Canes on our front porch

Sweet little Angus.

Gunther likes to look out the window at the snow.

Statue at Lake Front.

Cheers, Y'all!

We're back!

...From Texas that is. James and I went down this past week to see family and James spoke at a workshop in Galveston. We were able to see both sets of parents and both of James' cousins and aunt whom we haven't seen in FOREVER! It was a lot of fun just hanging out with family. It was only for a few days and since we don't know if we're going to make it down for Christmas...it was good to see everyone. We didn't get to see Aaron, Allison and Noah, but we'll see them here in a few weeks in NYC!!! Oh, and by the way I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT AGAIN!!!!!!! No, Jared is not pregnant. Allison is! with baby number two due in June. I am so happy for them and their growing family! Noah will be two on Friday, I can't believe it! LOVE YOU GUYS!

It's freezing cold here. literally. It won't get above freezing until Friday...JOY! Being on the beach in Galveston when it was 60 and sunny spoiled us. It made me miss the south. Snow is beautiful up until Christmas, then when it gets to be March, April and a lot of the time May before it melts...well, it's depressing. It's even worse when the snow starts in October. IT's not good when Seasonal Depression starts in before Halloween. Anyway, here are some pictures. Enjoy!

p.s. If you are of the praying sort....I do ask that you do so for James and myself. The past few months have been pretty stressful, and there are still several things up in the air. We have a lot going on and a LOT that is uncertain so just pray for us.

This was at Casey's in Galveston. I just like it.
On the Seawall.

The one-legged pigeon that lived on our balcony.

Just thought this was cool.

Thought you'd be interested in seeing this. It's from the political ticker on CNN.

"(CNN) — Before he delivered his victory speech on Tuesday night in Chicago, President-elect Barack Obama took a call and bowed his head in prayer. Dr. Joel Hunter, pastor of Northland Church in Orlando, Florida and Otis Moss Jr. from Mount Olivet Institutional Baptist Church in Cleveland, Ohio joined him in that prayer.
Speaking with CNN today by phone, Dr. Hunter says the prayer was intensely personal and private but did say “I prayed for his family and for him and for the country. I had no agenda other than trying to create an environment in which he felt the presence and could receive wisdom from God.” Dr. Hunter, a conservative evangelical who delivered a prayer at the Democratic National Convention this summer, says the President-elect “…feels the weight of this responsibility. He [Obama] doesn’t take upon himself of having to have all the answers but he certainly realizes the huge challenges this nation faces. He feels the personal weight of the potential to guide us through these difficult times. I don’t think he’s oppressed by it though.” Dr. Hunter says he thinks it set in for Obama last night and led to the sober tone of the victory speech.
Evangelicals have long been a force in American politics but many wondered with the defeat of Sen. John McCain what role they will play in the Obama administration. Eric Sapp is one of the founders of The Eleison Group which works specifically with Democratic campaigns to mobilize Christian voters he says, “There is a new generation of white evangelicals. They are less partisan and it all plays to Barack Obama’s favor.” Sapp puts Hunter in that category and thinks the Obama administration will be inclusive of evangelicals. “I think it’s an early indication of the way he’s going to govern. For something as personal as who he wants praying for him is a good indicator of how he wants to be president.”
For Hunter, it wasn’t the first time the two men had prayed together and says the prayer before Obama's speech Tuesday night was in keeping with the next president's character, “Obama is a big picture person. His big picture includes God and he wanted to do that as it’s just the right thing to do at that moment.”

Yesterday, when I went into the polling booth I prayed. ( I also made a lot of people mad because I took so long :)) I prayed for God to take our country in to his hands. Regardless for whom you voted, It doesn't matter who I voted for, Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States. Last night history was made. I sat at home with James and cried like a little girl as I watched his victory speech. I've been scared in my country for at least the last 5 years. I hope and pray that this is the change we need, and I'm not the only one. Over 62 million people also had that same idea. He wasn't elected BECAUSE he's black, he wasn't elected because he's a socialist (which he's not), he wasn't elected because we're all stupid, he was elected because people want change, they want hope...hope that it will get better. Can he do it? hopefully. I pray that WE can. Americans. It involves all of us, believing and working towards the same cause: Making this country as great as we know it can be.

Election Day

YOU SHOULD TOO!

Aside from the fact that it's your civil right and duty, you should vote today to be a part of history! The polls are open until 9!!! There's no excuse!

IF you voted, I'd love for you to leave a comment. The lastime I checked over 1.9 million people on Facebook have voted! Here's to the (hopefully) the highest voter turnout in history!

Cheers y'all!

I couldn't think of a good title for this blog, so I decided to leave it blank. Someone asked me the other day "Are you Happy?". SURE! I now have heating oil and hot water, why wouldn't I be? OH, because I had to pay $1,000 for that's why!!! Sorry, back to the topic.

I started thinking...AM I truly happy with my life (yes), my marriage(yes), my job (or my 5 jobs). I am doing 4 (right now) things that I truly enjoy doing. Luckily the talents I have been blessed with translate monetarily (at least enough to where I don't have to get a 9-5 job) Photography is my passion, and I believe that God has truly blessed me with an eye and capacity for this art.

However, Is this what I want to do or what God would have me do? I think this is a burning question in a lot of our minds. How do I discern between what God is calling me to do and my own ambition? or are they the same? IF you could do ANYTHING, what would you do? ______ What is your ideal job?____ Or what would you rather be doing?_____( I would like you to answer out loud to yourself) What is keeping us from doing these things? Is it a lack of money, time, opportunity? Would we feel guilty/selfish for doing what we want instead of what we think/believe that God is calling us to do? Are we too comfortable in current situation to step out on a limb and give God the opportunity to work through us? Are we truly using our talents to serve God? ( I don't have an answer I'm just thinking out loud here)

I know that we are not to seek things for ourselves, but to seek God's kingdom. Please understand I'm not saying sit back and let God work in our lives, that puts the emphasis on ourselves. It is part of our relationship with God that we are to strive to know, love, serve and devote our lives to him. Our faith takes action on all accounts. We are all ministers and servants and I believe that God uses us in whatever situation/job we are in, when we allow him to. I am just rambling here so please forgive my spastic sentences. My mind is all over the place. I am looking in the mirror while writing this (it's kind of weird).

All i know is: If it doesn't involve risk, it doesn't involve faith.

Anyway, just something to pray about...

p.s. fall is over. now Winter has shown it's evil head. Supposed to get 10 inches of snow tonight.
Those of you who want to move here...wait until it's 35 degrees below zero and the cells in your head start to shrink giving you a headache when you go outside, and you can't go outside for more than 6 minutes with bare hands or you'll get frostbite. OH, and if you breathe out the steam turns to ice and falls to the ground :)

Halloween decorations- yep! those are leg bones (crossed!)

skull

Arm bones coming out of the ground....man I LOVE this holiday!

seriously!

yep! bloody handprints!