the past week

So I don't really know how to blog about this so I'm going to do a timeline.

Last Sunday, I wasn' t feeling very well so James made me stay home from church and sleep. No big deal, I was just really tired. Monday morning I woke up and went down stairs to eat breakfast. I called James, as I normally do when I get up in the morning, told him to call me back (at 9:17) I went downstairs started doing my normal morning routine: make coffee, check email..blah blah blah. I went in to the kitchen to fix something to eat. I took one bite of my cereal when I started having this blinding pain in my abdomen. I didn't know what was going on so I went up stairs. Generally when that happens it's gas..sorry if that's too much information..but it's true. As I was walk up the stairs I got very light headed I couldnt' see...and I laid down on the bathroom floor. About 2 min. later I openend my eyes and realized that I passed out. I was sweating, but freezing...my head was still spinning. Immediately I called James to come home. I knew something wasn't right....I don't pass out.

5 min later James came running in the door yelling for me. I was still upstairs on the edge of the bathtub trying to hold myself up. Im pretty sure when he saw me he knew something was wrong because he had one of those priceless "you look terrible" expressions on his face. The pain still hadn't subsided so I told him I needed to go to the E.R. I guess I should probably mention that I was around 8 weeks pregnant. So DEFINITELY need to go to the E.R.

We got to the E.R. at Bassett not 10 minutes later ( luckily its right down the road). They put me in a wheel-chair right away on account that I could barely stand up. The check-in nurse proceeded to ask me questions about my symptoms...I managed to piece together words to make sentences...though I'm not sure it made sense. It's still really fuzzy at this point. oh, and when they took my blood-pressure at this point it was about 90/40. Not so good. Explains why I passed out.

Now I'm in my room in the E.R. the bring a team to draw some blood. The regular E.R. nurses try 3 times and can't get a vein so they have to call in the I.V. TEAM. GREAT! This lady finally draws about 5 viles of blood to run some tests..you know normal stuff..red blood cell count, HCG (pregnancy hormone), and several other things (so we're up to 4 sticks with a needle). We wait for several hours before they are able to get me in for an ultrasound. FINALLY, around 2:30 I get wheeled to the ultrasound room (meanwhile blood pressure still around 95/55).

The lay me down on that oh-so-wonderful table and the tech proceeds to do a regular ultrasound for about 30 min...pressing hard on to my abdomen.....that...is....still...hurting...like...crazy!!! Okay, so really bad news. I'm supposed to be 8 weeks and they can't see a sac. Which means I don't have an inter-uterine pregnancy. I started crying...and James still is not really sure what's going on so over my sobs Im trying to explain to him that the baby isn't growing in my uterus (not good) but it is growing somewhere (even worse). So now, to add insult to injury, they inform me that they MUST get pictures from inside. JOY. At this point I am still in writhing in pain and they decide they have to do it THEN.

So, after about 10 minutes of me screaming on the table they finally get enough pictures. As soon as that was finished James sat me up slowly to help comfort me....and he puts it I "started to go" Yep, passed out again. The next thing I remember is 5 nurses in the E.R. running towards whomever is wheeling me back to the actual emergency room. I think I woke up in the room again. I dont' really remember that, but I was super sweaty again. The Dr. in the ER read my ultrasound quickly and determined that the baby was in fact growing IN my left fallopian tube. Ectopic pregnancy. okay. I know what this means but we have to wait for the Dr.

Since they know, it was ectopic, they were able to start me on an I.V. and they have to take more blood. AGAIN, the ER nurse misses twice and gets in on the 3 or 4..I can't remember and I don't feel like counting the trackmarks on my arm (we're now around 8 sticks) So I have an I.V. now. The couldn't get it in my hand or arm...so it went in my shoulder. Then they decide they need more blood and I need more I.V.'s, apparently I was dehydrated. So now, I have almost 11 places where they have attempted to draw blood and 3 different I.V.'s in an assortment of sizes in both shoulders.

Almost 6 hours after getting to the ER I finally get something for the pain. I should also mention that my blood pressure is still hovering around 100/40-50. So the can't give me much for the pain (it lowers your blood pressure)

This is where it gets a little scary. I'm flat on my back because I need to get blood to my head, but now i'm starting to have trouble breathing and my stomach starts slowly get bigger. I begged the nurse to set me up a little but she can't because they're afraid I will pass out again. (each time I "go" gets longer and longer I'm up to 3 blackouts now...once in the room for now reason).

Now, it's waiting game. For a couple of hours Im laying on this table in the ER 3 needles in me pumping me full of fluid and some pain killers, having my blood pressure taken every 10 minutes to makes sure Im not crashing, and 10 nurses and Dr.'s coming in and out every so often to look at my vitals.

It's now around 6:15 the Dr. we've been waiting on is out of surgery and comes to talk to us. He stays very monotone when telling me what they have to do. Sometimes with an ectopic pregnancy it doesn't last very long and just stays in the tube. Not this time. My HCG level came back at 13,000. The baby was still growing up until that morning and had managed to rupture my tube. Actually, had expanded so much that it blew out the back side of my ovary. Reason for low blood pressure, blackouts, pain, trouble breathing, expanding tummy?? I'm losing blood internally. Now i'm scared. Terrified actually. At this point James still has no idea what the Dr. is saying. I do.

45 mins later I was in surgery....ahh but not without the nurses trying to get me up to go to the Bathroom first....I passed out and hit my head. I am up to 5 blackouts now. I went out twice waiting to go in to surgery, twice in about 10 min, so now I'm getting really scared. BUT thank God for all that Yoga and meditation because the whole day I was able to keep myself relatively calm by breathing.

As we're waiting I hear the Dr. say to the nurse "In surgery STAT" and "Stop the bleeding first". Luckily at that point I was only conscious for about 90 more seconds. I think it hit James for the first time how serious it was when he asked my nurse "she's going to be okay..right?" and she replied "yea, after they get the bleeding stopped" They did. Praise God. they also had to remove the baby and my left tube.

Thank God, and airmiles my mom was able to get here by Tuesday and left this morning. I honestly dont' know if we could have handled it without her. I'm not completely immobile, but close. I have a nice 6 inch incision that is healing quite nicely and a heart that will be on the mend indefinitely. I definitley didn't think this was how I was going to be spending my Christmas. My hormones and pain killers are playing tricks on me. I have a breakdown twice a day. Mostly in the evenings. But I also thank God for watching over me. I think it really hit James just how serious this was sometime on Wednesday. Their a lot of things to be thankful for and a lot of things that break my heart on a daily basis. Anyway, that's how we spent the week recovering from Emergency Surgery. It'll definitley be an interesting Christmas, but I am still here to celebrate it and for that I thank God!

I hope you all have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Winter is here!

It's official. Winter is here. Okay, actually it was official before Halloween, I just don't like to acknowledge it until after Thanksgiving. James and I had a very quiet but very nice Thanksgiving dinner just the two of us. I cooked, and James stayed out of the way! I will have a lot more to post about next week after we get back from NYC with the fam. (and hopefully LOTS of pictures too!) I can't wait. Just found out Jared is coming now! So the WHOLE family will get to be together! Anyway, here's a few pictures from the recent present.

Lake Front park a few weeks ago. (the leaves are now gone)

The Candy Canes on our front porch

Sweet little Angus.

Gunther likes to look out the window at the snow.

Statue at Lake Front.

Cheers, Y'all!

We're back!

...From Texas that is. James and I went down this past week to see family and James spoke at a workshop in Galveston. We were able to see both sets of parents and both of James' cousins and aunt whom we haven't seen in FOREVER! It was a lot of fun just hanging out with family. It was only for a few days and since we don't know if we're going to make it down for Christmas...it was good to see everyone. We didn't get to see Aaron, Allison and Noah, but we'll see them here in a few weeks in NYC!!! Oh, and by the way I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT AGAIN!!!!!!! No, Jared is not pregnant. Allison is! with baby number two due in June. I am so happy for them and their growing family! Noah will be two on Friday, I can't believe it! LOVE YOU GUYS!

It's freezing cold here. literally. It won't get above freezing until Friday...JOY! Being on the beach in Galveston when it was 60 and sunny spoiled us. It made me miss the south. Snow is beautiful up until Christmas, then when it gets to be March, April and a lot of the time May before it melts...well, it's depressing. It's even worse when the snow starts in October. IT's not good when Seasonal Depression starts in before Halloween. Anyway, here are some pictures. Enjoy!

p.s. If you are of the praying sort....I do ask that you do so for James and myself. The past few months have been pretty stressful, and there are still several things up in the air. We have a lot going on and a LOT that is uncertain so just pray for us.

This was at Casey's in Galveston. I just like it.
On the Seawall.

The one-legged pigeon that lived on our balcony.

Just thought this was cool.

Thought you'd be interested in seeing this. It's from the political ticker on CNN.

"(CNN) — Before he delivered his victory speech on Tuesday night in Chicago, President-elect Barack Obama took a call and bowed his head in prayer. Dr. Joel Hunter, pastor of Northland Church in Orlando, Florida and Otis Moss Jr. from Mount Olivet Institutional Baptist Church in Cleveland, Ohio joined him in that prayer.
Speaking with CNN today by phone, Dr. Hunter says the prayer was intensely personal and private but did say “I prayed for his family and for him and for the country. I had no agenda other than trying to create an environment in which he felt the presence and could receive wisdom from God.” Dr. Hunter, a conservative evangelical who delivered a prayer at the Democratic National Convention this summer, says the President-elect “…feels the weight of this responsibility. He [Obama] doesn’t take upon himself of having to have all the answers but he certainly realizes the huge challenges this nation faces. He feels the personal weight of the potential to guide us through these difficult times. I don’t think he’s oppressed by it though.” Dr. Hunter says he thinks it set in for Obama last night and led to the sober tone of the victory speech.
Evangelicals have long been a force in American politics but many wondered with the defeat of Sen. John McCain what role they will play in the Obama administration. Eric Sapp is one of the founders of The Eleison Group which works specifically with Democratic campaigns to mobilize Christian voters he says, “There is a new generation of white evangelicals. They are less partisan and it all plays to Barack Obama’s favor.” Sapp puts Hunter in that category and thinks the Obama administration will be inclusive of evangelicals. “I think it’s an early indication of the way he’s going to govern. For something as personal as who he wants praying for him is a good indicator of how he wants to be president.”
For Hunter, it wasn’t the first time the two men had prayed together and says the prayer before Obama's speech Tuesday night was in keeping with the next president's character, “Obama is a big picture person. His big picture includes God and he wanted to do that as it’s just the right thing to do at that moment.”

Yesterday, when I went into the polling booth I prayed. ( I also made a lot of people mad because I took so long :)) I prayed for God to take our country in to his hands. Regardless for whom you voted, It doesn't matter who I voted for, Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States. Last night history was made. I sat at home with James and cried like a little girl as I watched his victory speech. I've been scared in my country for at least the last 5 years. I hope and pray that this is the change we need, and I'm not the only one. Over 62 million people also had that same idea. He wasn't elected BECAUSE he's black, he wasn't elected because he's a socialist (which he's not), he wasn't elected because we're all stupid, he was elected because people want change, they want hope...hope that it will get better. Can he do it? hopefully. I pray that WE can. Americans. It involves all of us, believing and working towards the same cause: Making this country as great as we know it can be.

Election Day

YOU SHOULD TOO!

Aside from the fact that it's your civil right and duty, you should vote today to be a part of history! The polls are open until 9!!! There's no excuse!

IF you voted, I'd love for you to leave a comment. The lastime I checked over 1.9 million people on Facebook have voted! Here's to the (hopefully) the highest voter turnout in history!

Cheers y'all!

I couldn't think of a good title for this blog, so I decided to leave it blank. Someone asked me the other day "Are you Happy?". SURE! I now have heating oil and hot water, why wouldn't I be? OH, because I had to pay $1,000 for that's why!!! Sorry, back to the topic.

I started thinking...AM I truly happy with my life (yes), my marriage(yes), my job (or my 5 jobs). I am doing 4 (right now) things that I truly enjoy doing. Luckily the talents I have been blessed with translate monetarily (at least enough to where I don't have to get a 9-5 job) Photography is my passion, and I believe that God has truly blessed me with an eye and capacity for this art.

However, Is this what I want to do or what God would have me do? I think this is a burning question in a lot of our minds. How do I discern between what God is calling me to do and my own ambition? or are they the same? IF you could do ANYTHING, what would you do? ______ What is your ideal job?____ Or what would you rather be doing?_____( I would like you to answer out loud to yourself) What is keeping us from doing these things? Is it a lack of money, time, opportunity? Would we feel guilty/selfish for doing what we want instead of what we think/believe that God is calling us to do? Are we too comfortable in current situation to step out on a limb and give God the opportunity to work through us? Are we truly using our talents to serve God? ( I don't have an answer I'm just thinking out loud here)

I know that we are not to seek things for ourselves, but to seek God's kingdom. Please understand I'm not saying sit back and let God work in our lives, that puts the emphasis on ourselves. It is part of our relationship with God that we are to strive to know, love, serve and devote our lives to him. Our faith takes action on all accounts. We are all ministers and servants and I believe that God uses us in whatever situation/job we are in, when we allow him to. I am just rambling here so please forgive my spastic sentences. My mind is all over the place. I am looking in the mirror while writing this (it's kind of weird).

All i know is: If it doesn't involve risk, it doesn't involve faith.

Anyway, just something to pray about...

p.s. fall is over. now Winter has shown it's evil head. Supposed to get 10 inches of snow tonight.
Those of you who want to move here...wait until it's 35 degrees below zero and the cells in your head start to shrink giving you a headache when you go outside, and you can't go outside for more than 6 minutes with bare hands or you'll get frostbite. OH, and if you breathe out the steam turns to ice and falls to the ground :)

Halloween decorations- yep! those are leg bones (crossed!)

skull

Arm bones coming out of the ground....man I LOVE this holiday!

seriously!

yep! bloody handprints!

End of Fall

Since this is my favourite time of year I have been taking a TON of pictures. The other day it was absolutely beautiful outside, and I needed to take a walk to clear my mind anyway, so naturally...I took my camera. I have a lot on my mind, but nothing I really feel like writing about this late. Anyway, enjoy the pics and the start to your week! :)

This is a sign that my two dogs blatantly ignore! It's actually one of Gunther's favorite places to go. :)

This guy grew in my back yard!

This was in Cooper Park, I thought the couple was so cute!

Crab Apple tree. Most of the apples are now a deep burgundy color, this one was a late bloomer.

When I was down by the lake about 4 chipmunks kept running all around me chasing each other. This one came out to look at me for a while :)

This is actually a buzzard. There were about 30 of them in one tree. I'll post a pic of that later.

leaves on a bench down by the lake

I thought the colors were amazing

Unfortunately, a huge storm came the day after I took all of these and knocked the majority of the remaining leaves off. Anyway, enjoy your week!

wedding

This past Saturday James and I had a wedding that we went to. Actually, that's putting it lightly. Two of our best friends here got married and we were in the wedding party, we sang the processional (when she walked in), and I made their wedding cake. So we were slightly involved in the whole process. Anyway, it was a BEAUTIFUL wedding, bride, setting, day..etc. Anyway, I didnt' have a chance to take many pictures but here are a few.

James and I being...well...us.

outside where the wedding was

top of the cake

their wedding cake! it was covered in chocolate ganache, that's why it's not as smooth as icing, but tasted WAY better!

Fall

Fall is my FAVOURITE time of year for lots of reasons! A. College Football. 2. Baseball Playoffs D. the weather starts to get a little cooler. 4. Halloween is the best Holiday! and 5. Fall in upstate New York is stunning. Most nights James and I take the boys on an hour, or so, long walk. This serves a myriad of purposes. It get us off our butts, we have a little quiet time, and it totally wears the dogs out. This time of year is the absolute greatest. Last night we just walked around for about an hour an half. I, of course, took my camera. Unfortunately, we left a little too late so I wasn't able to get as many good shots as I wanted. But, you'll get the idea. Anyway, here a few shots from last night. I'll be posting more from days to come as the leaves turn even more.

This is James and the boys in Cooper Park

Angus just chillin in the leaves.

James playing with the dogs

Taking it all in!

One of the beautiful trees this time of year. You can see the red at the top of the tree! gorgeous!

leaves

the red ivy grows on a lot of houses!

Cooper Park

Again

This beautiful tree right up the street. At night the street light makes it look like it's on fire!

Anyway, hope you like these. I will be taking a LOT more the next few weeks!

Here's a joke for you:

Little Tony had been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked his Grandmother: "Grandma, what's that thing called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?" She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just tell him the truth "it's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Tony, just said "oh, okay." and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily "Grandma it isn't called sexual intercourse, its' called BUNK BEDS, and Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you!!!!"

Cheers, y'all!

Funny Story...to me, anyway!

As most of you know we have two dogs, Gunther the brown dog who looks like Benji and LOVES attention, and Angus. Angus is special. He's a Scottie. He's somewhat anti-social and....Jaunty. Yep that's the perfect word to describe him..he's Jaunty. Anywho, when James or myself comes home , generally both dogs will greet us in a matter of minutes. Gunther is normally waiting by the back door and Angus reluctantly follows suit. Today, I've been home working on wedding pictures, and converting my cake recipes for a cake I have to do next week. James came home around 11;40 to have lunch. (We have a guy who's repainting our house per our landlord's request, so i've kept the dogs downstairs with me, otherwise they would bark constantly) So, I had just seen them not 10 minutes before James came home. He walks in the back door with his normal "HI" to let me know it's him. Gunther comes running out...but no Angus. ( not so weird). But we decided to try to find him anyway. So we're both calling his name.....that doesn' t work (but it rarely does), then I try "wanna go outside?" (now, this is generally a sure-fire way to get that dog to show his face...but STILL no Angus. So now we're a little concerned. we can't find him anywhere. Then I see this..

Just to give you a better idea of where this dog decided to hide. This is an armoire in the corner of our dining room. (Please excuse the large stack of magazines, James was supposed to take those to the hospital a while ago) If you look closely in the bottom picture you can see how we'd miss him. :)

Okay, so next story. I'm weird, that's no secret. We live on a fairly busy street in Cooperstown. People really like to look into our house...I don't like it when people look into our house and I'm not going to close the shades on a perfectly good day or evening when there is plenty of natural light. Well to put a stop...or actually just to entertain myself this is what I put IN THE WINDOW. I think it s' fantastic. It's mask that I wore in a dance I choreographed that I put on a bendy-neck (?) lamp. :) (insert maniacal laugh here)

I made Banana bread today, I can't have it because i'm allergic to bananas, but James likes it! :)oh, and I made the bowl!
Cheers!

stuff

SORRY, AARON! Although it would be appropriate to this blog to be titled 'Hiatus' as well....i didn't. It's not that I haven't had anything to blog about, in fact a LOT has gone on in the last month or so. First of all, My parents and everyone in Southeast Texas were hit by that jerk IKE! My dad is much better at explaining everything ( because he was there). So check out his blog for the latest. I just thank God that nothing happened to them!



On another note, the past 6 weeks has been kind of crazy. I've taken a LOT of pictures and baked a lot of cakes, which is awesome, but I haven't had the easiest go of it. As a lot of you know, I'm fairly....anti-doctor/medicine. If I can find a homeopathic way of dealing with something- I DO! That mostly consists of taking vitamins everyday, drinking lots of herbal/green teas, I exercise...blah, blah blah,...but alot of that effort goes to the wayside when you're around kids. Kids are walking petri dishes. Over the past 6 weeks I've been to the Doctor 5 times...thats' more than i've been in the last 5 years. Let's start at the beginning( this has nothing to do with the kids...well not mine anyway): I was having a LOT of pain in my lower abdomen about 6-7 weeks ago, long story, 4 doctors, 2 internal ultrasounds (YUCK) later, they found that I have 10 little pearls growing on the inside of of right ovary (hence, the pain) what the doctor called Poly-cystic ovarian disease. Something that is fairly common in women of "birthing" age, as James so lovingly puts it. SO, I am now on some medicine for that, I didn't want to be, BUT the doctor told me it would do THREE things with this one pill: 1. Make getting pregnant easier. Okay. 2. help me STAY pregnant once I get there. AWESOME, need some help with that. 3. it will shrink the cysts. whohoo, no more pain. oh, and i found out that it also helps with insulin resistance...so It will make it easier for me to lose weight!!!! DONE!



Next episode (hey, hey, hey--sorry Dr. dre reference) anyway, Fall in Upstate New York is not easy for someone with allergies. Me in particular! I had trouble last year, but this year EVERYTHING is blooming, molding, or pollening(?) whatever. It's been bad! so bad in fact that i had to go the doctor because I could breathe when I would lie down. Not so fun. As James will tell you I tend to wait until its REALLY bad before going to the doctor. SO 3 breathing treatments later.....i was at home with a brand new prescription for Albuterol AND Advair. YUCK. I take the Advair, but I haven't used an inhaler in a while, so I don't intend to start.

Anyway, that wasn't fun but I haven't had anymore problems. (Cut out dairy and that helps too)



Continuing on...Since the allergens have been so bad, it's also been a while since I've had a stuffy-less nose. I've been stopped up a lot. Not a big deal, just annoying. Well, my eyes starting getting red....and itchy....and oozing (its' gross, i know....they're my eyes)...and sore....and..I went to the Doctor today to get my 4th prescription filled for the Severe Bacterial Conjunctivitis or PINK EYE. Both eyes. from kids. James has it now too. So does Gunther. (okay that last statement is false). But it's so bad that I can't just use the drops, I have to squeeze ointment INTO MY EYES! yea fantastic!!! So I am the person who reads the ENTIRE pamphlet of information. and on my death ointment the possible side effects are: itching, burning, watery eyes, redness...REDNESS! seriously....



Anyway, when I went into the Pharmacy today and the lady says "you, again?" that's probably not a good sign. Sorry for the graphic post. Hope the rest of you are doing better than me. (JK) I just hate taking medicine.



Here's some picture I've taken lately!






Enjoy!

Hiatus

As some of you naggingly aware, I have been a little busy. SORRY. I have been meaning to blog for some time now...but I just can't bring myself to do it. Well, here I am after a month of insanity. Those of you loyalists are bound to know that in the sometime I have the equivalent of 4 part-time jobs. I work most days nannying (?), 3-5 days a week at the Hall of Fame (depending on how short staffed we are), I have been taking LOTS of photographs, and baking wedding cakes, birthday cakes, anniversary cakes..you get the idea. Between all of those I have very little time to much else. OF course there is the random week day where I am not doing anything that i manage to bide my time by taking pictures of inanimate objects (pictures will follow). Anyway, it's coming down to the end of the summer and I am sad and thankful at the same time. Sad, because the trees are already starting to turn...(yea it's not even September yet), the 4 year old that i was taking care of is now going to kindergarten :( and thankful that TODAY WAS THE LAST DAY OF DREAMSPARK!!! It's really hard to believe that the time has flown by this quickly. Anyway, to be cliche'- since a picture is worth a thousand words, I figure I will let them do the talking! (warning: several pictures to come)

60th Birthday cake..I didn't know Mary.

Josie, the beautiful 7 year-old I nanny for.

Ray, Josie's 4 1/2 year old brother.
Part of the the First Wedding cake I did. (the top was missing) All of the flowers were hand-made by moi, and then dried and placed on with Vegan Wedding cake (the Bride was from China, she wanted something simple and elegant) The roses and Cherry blossoms are all buttercream.

Close up of the Cherry blossoms ( the stamen are spaghetti)

Josie again ( I absolutely adore these kids)

not a real bird
Ray

teaching her to be a rockstar

I got bored one and had some tomatoes ( they really were that color in the sun)
had an apple too
i have no idea why
birthday cake
ray again